HOW DO TOXIC PEOPLE MANIPULATE THEIR VICTIMS?

 In our lives, we constantly meet and get to know new people. Some spend only a few moments there, while others stay for longer. In many cases, we also make lifelong connections. It would seem that another person can only bring something good to our lives. However, this line of thinking is not consistent with reality. Very often the so-called toxic relationships have a negative impact on our well-being and mental health. Who are toxic people? How to recognize them and get rid of them from our lives? Here you will learn everything about this condition and how to fight it.

A toxic person is a person who is extremely good at manipulating others. He knows exactly what to say and do to be credible and ensure our trust. Toxic people are very nice and accommodating at the beginning of their acquaintance. We even perceive them as our friends - they surround themselves with a wonderful aura that eclipses their true nature. They support us and help us in difficult times, but over time everything changes completely. They start to destroy our self-confidence, make us feel guilty, and put us in the role of a victim. We become puppets of a toxic person. It sucks out of us all the will to live and the enthusiasm to do anything. When we are with her, we feel like we are drowning - as if we were running out of air. A toxic person adapts his behavior to the goal he wants to achieve. He lies, does not take responsibility for his actions, and always tries to appear in a positive light, blaming others for his transgressions. Such relationships should be ended as soon as possible. Unfortunately, it's not that simple.

• Toxic relationships can be destructive for us, so it is worth ending them at an early stage of development. The further we get to know such a person, the more difficult it will be to free ourselves from him. Therefore, it is worth learning to recognize this type of person after the first behavior. Here are typical behaviors of toxic people:
• Toxic people are often focused only on themselves. Only what concerns themselves is important, the rest does not matter. All that matters to them is their own goals and they do everything to achieve them. Such people put us to the test, expecting evidence of friendship or love. Another feature of their personality is constant jealousy.
• Toxic people use every opportunity to humiliate us and show that they are better and more important. They want to make us realize that only what matters is what concerns them.
• Toxic people don't care about others. They only talk about themselves and want help in solving their problems. The problems of others are irrelevant to them. They are characterized by variability of behavior. Sometimes they are nice, and other times they are arrogant and rude. They hurt us, point out our mistakes, and want to show that we are weak.

When dealing with toxic people, we must remember that they very often lie and manipulate others, adapting their behavior to their own goals.

• They make us feel guilty. They control us, intimidate us, and even use threats.
• After meeting a toxic person, we feel emotionally exhausted. We are tired of their company.
• A toxic person always puts themselves in the role of victim. The whole world is evil and they are always struggling. Nothing is their fault. What's more, they often blame it on us.
• They don't take the word "no." Toxic people want us to always do what they expect from us. They also do not respect the boundaries we set, even the smallest ones.
• They are very effusive. From the very beginning of our acquaintance, they burden us with even the smallest details of their lives.
• Toxic people are mean. They take joy in our failures - they are there for us especially then. There are cases where they abuse us mentally and even physically.

Toxic people very often adopt a characteristic type of behavior that guides them throughout their lives. We can distinguish several basic ones:

• Narcissists are toxic people who constantly talk about themselves. Even though we didn't even ask, they talked about their lives in great detail. When we want to add something, they quickly change the subject to remain the center of attention. Usually, we can't even say anything because they keep interrupting us. Of course, conversations with such people can be really tiring and even unpleasant.
• Controller – As the name suggests, such people want to control everything in our lives. Our every behavior, speech, and even thoughts. They also can't stand opposition, everything has to be their way.
• Pessimist – always shares only the sad aspects of his life. Everything is bad, the world is terrible, etc. He constantly puts himself in the role of a victim and emphasizes how difficult his life is. Conversations with this type of toxic people drain our energy. They usually make us feel worse and the world becomes gloomy.
• Critic – such a person does not take into account the views and feelings of others. She always tries to be the best and show herself in the greatest light possible. Criticizes the ideas and actions of others. Nothing suits him. He feels better than others. He is often arrogant and mean. It destroys our self-confidence and wants to let us know that we are hopeless.

A lover of chaos, he is a person around whom something is always happening. Loves to start group drama. Of course, she herself is innocent. He seems to be standing on the sidelines, but he encourages others to take action. He loves noise and arguments with others.

As we can guess, toxic behavior directed toward us leaves a significant mark. It should be noted here that they may appear not only in camaraderie but also in love, friendship, or family relationships. Sometimes it turns out that we have been dealing with such a person all our lives.

This is a very common case of a toxic relationship. Someone pretends to be our friend, we tell him our secrets, and suddenly it turns out that he has been talking about us behind our back or is simply bored with us. We expect support, closeness, and dedication from a friend. However, in relationships with such people, at some point, we start to force them. We feel undervalued and exhausted. When meeting a supposed friend, we feel that he is overwhelming us and taking advantage of us, which makes us nervous and simply sad. Maintaining a relationship with a toxic person often rests on our shoulders, and the nature of such a person does not make the task easier for us - which makes us feel emotionally, mentally, and even physically exhausted.

We have heard about relationships with toxic people many times. Love is a feeling that particularly exposes us to a toxic relationship because it requires a lot of emotional commitment from us. A toxic relationship destroys us from the inside. On the one hand, we feel that we love our partner very much, but on the other hand, we simply feel hatred. We live with conflicting feelings. We miss our loved ones, but when we are close to them, we feel like running away. The relationship overwhelms us and we feel limited. This is often due to jealousy, resentment, and lack of respect. Of course, such relationships with a toxic person should be ended as soon as possible, but it is not that simple. simply put, we cannot leave our partner. An example here is frequent returns to each other - as soon as we hear assurances that he has changed, we give in to the other person and enter into this relationship again. In some cases, we stay in relationships with toxic people for several years, hoping that something will change. Usually, after such a long time, we simply mature and decide to end the relationship for good.

Toxic relationships can also occur within the family. Parents play a special role here. Very often they show excessive control over the child, read their private correspondence, check their messages, and excessively control all their exits. Toxic behavior also occurs when parents constantly criticize their children. They demand more and more from them, constantly pointing out that they can't do anything. Such treatment translates into a lack of self-confidence and fear of almost everything in the future. Children are constantly aware that they are doing something wrong and strive for perfection. It happens that they choose this lifestyle and everything they do has to be perfect. A case of toxicity is also the moment when a parent forces the child to take care of it. He wants her to take care of the house, go to work, and support it. As we can guess, this amount of responsibility is too much for young people and results in many psychological injuries.

The most common example of toxicity is the so-called passive aggression used by parents who usually don't even realize it. This happens when a child does something wrong, and instead of starting a conversation and explaining to the child that it was wrong, the parents remain silent and ignore their child, causing him or her to feel guilt, stress, and fear. People treated this way will behave similarly in the future.

Unfortunately, cutting off a toxic person is not always possible, so it is worth taking every step to reduce any unwanted emotions and feelings that accompany us while being with him. We can:

• Talk directly and explain that we don't like the toxic person's behavior.
• Ask calm questions that will make a toxic person think about certain theories and beliefs, for example, if he or she says that all women are bad drivers - we will ask if he can give an example, if he knows many such women, etc.
• Act like him, as if in a mirror image, imitating his tone and speaking technique.
• Release your emotions, don't think about that person.
• Breaking off contact or limiting it to a minimum is a last resort, but sometimes it is necessary to get rid of toxic people from our environment.

As we see, not every acquaintance can be a positive factor that has a good impact on our lives. We should always carefully observe the behavior and analyze the words not only of a newly met person but also of long-time friends. Thanks to this, we can avoid or release an unwanted, toxic relationship that affects our mental health.