Religious fanaticism, domestic violence and... vlogs from everyday, idyllic life (but only seemingly idyllic). Everything is monetized on YouTube and Instagram... The heroine of today's episode has been leading a double life for many years. She showed one thing, the seemingly perfect one, to her fans, and the other one... unfortunately, the second one was the hell she brought to her own family.
Have you ever wondered whether a mother (widely regarded as the embodiment of caring and nurturing) could be a monster to her children?
You've probably come across parenting content more than once in your life. Even if you don't watch them every day, you know about their existence and about the influencers dealing with this topic. In our home backyard, we have, among others: Wersow, Lil Masti, or Happy Family.
Imagine that a scandal suddenly comes to light in which it turns out that the famous influencer who tells the public every day how to raise children and have a happy family turns out to be a completely different person. To such an extent that he ABUSES his family. This situation really happened in the United States. And we're talking about the Ruby Franke case .
Ruby Frank is a YouTuber who became famous on the Internet for her parenting content. In its heyday, Ruby's YouTube channel amassed nearly 2 million subscribers. The woman recorded vlog-style videos in which she talked about her life with her husband, Kevin, and their six children.
From the outside, the content published by Ruby looked idyllic. The BBC writes that the profile showed "a typical suburban Mormon family who homeschooled, cooked, ate and talked." However, years later it turned out that Ruby abused her own children. From then on, she was no longer a role model, but an anti-role model of how to deal with her offspring. A 42-year-old woman was convicted of four charges, to which she pleaded guilty in December 2023. As we can read in one of the articles :
“The penalty for each charge is a minimum of one to a maximum of 15 years in prison. They will be executed one after the other, which means that the minimum total sentence is four years and the maximum is up to 60 years in prison.
Jodi Hildebrandt, 54, Ruby's business partner, was also convicted in the trial and received an identical sentence.
And you're probably wondering what exactly the women did to suffer such consequences. Well, just before the suspects were arrested, Ruby's 12-year-old son managed to report to the police station. He arrived there malnourished and his limbs had "lacerations and traces of being restrained with adhesive tape." Her second child was also found in the house of Ruby's accomplice and was in a similar condition.
The conditions in which the children were raised were dramatic. As State Attorney Eric Clark said, the children lived "in conditions reminiscent of a concentration camp." They were denied basic necessities such as food, water and beds to sleep in. In addition, Ruby admitted to physically abusing the children - she beat them, kicked them and kept them in terrible conditions. What's most terrifying, however, was that she said in court that she "did it out of love." She also wanted to show them that they were "possessed".
One of the most important pieces of evidence, in this case, are Ruby's diaries, in which she describes in detail what happened within the four walls of her house. The entries were published a month after Franke was sentenced to 30 years in prison and contained not only descriptions of abuse but also photos of the injuries she inflicted on her children.
Moreover, the woman's children were effectively isolated from the outside world and had no idea what was happening behind the doors of their home.
Source: dailymail.co.uk
You now see a fragment of the journal where we can read that Ruby's son doesn't even know what month it is. The woman's diary is full of religious fanaticism and the belief that her children are possessed by Satan.
In such matters, there is often a comment like - "Where was the father?!" As it turns out, everyone knew what was happening to the children. Also father. However, neither he nor Ruby's immediate family (including her sisters) did anything about it.
But back to the activity on YouTube. As we said earlier, Ruby created parenting content there. But were they really so pristine that there were no warning signs? It is impossible that such a deep pathology that took place at home would not spread to the outside world through daily vlogs.
As it turns out, there were some signs. Keen observers have noticed that Ruby uses disturbing parenting methods. She refused to eat and intimidated the children. Ruby's channel was deleted shortly thereafter, and she moved her business to Instagram. She ran a profile there called Mothers of Truth, where she gave advice on raising children.
Perhaps Ruby Frank's story will be a lesson to everyone not to take things they see on the Internet seriously? Even if they are shown under the guise of education and positive values. This case shows us that, first of all, such dramas in which children are the victims also happen in the so-called good homes. Secondly, the parenting influencer, who was supposed to be a role model, failed. But there is one more thing that needs to be considered. This case clearly shows that the image known on the Internet is almost COMPLETELY different from everyday life. Internet creation and everyday life are two different things. So different that this image must simply be treated as fraud and manipulation.
However, Ruby's case is not the only case of this type of abuse. We already had a channel called DaddyOFive, founded by Mike Martin, where most of the videos featured him shouting at his children and humiliating them. We also had Fantastic Adventures - a channel run by Machelle Hobson, who, as it later turned out, molested her children. The case only came to light because one of Machelle's adopted children reported the matter to the police.
After reading Ruby Frank's story, you may be asking yourself - why is a parent able to do such things to children? And all this in the name of your sick ideology?
In the context of this case, an interesting social problem emerges. Namely - Ruby Franke completely destroys the idea of the role of a mother in society, which is intended to be synonymous with warmth, care and security. Our heroine is the very opposite of the mother archetype.
In society, the mother functions as a figure of public trust . After all, few people think about the fact that a mother can harm her own child on a daily basis. Yes, we sometimes come across such messages in the media, but this in no way destroys the common view of this social role.
And we have had quite a few such cases:
In mid-March this year, the trial began in the District Court in Olsztyn. The case concerns the abuse and attempt to take the life of a several-month-old child by Michalina P. and her partner .
A few years ago, we had the case of six-month-old Madzia from Sosnowiec, who, according to the first reports, was supposed to have been kidnapped. As it later turned out, the girl was a victim of her own mother and died of suffocation.
Another victim of his parents - Kamil from Częstochowa, who in 2023 was severely beaten and burned in his family home. He died in hospital after a month.
As reported by Rzeczpospolita, despite the tightening of penalties, the number of cases of child abuse increases every year. Data from the Ministry of Justice show that in 2021, 1,947 minor boys and 1,848 girls experienced violence. This is 500 more than in 2020 and 900 in the last two years.
So, as you can see, neither the tragic events involving her mother in the main role nor the disturbing statistics obscure how she is perceived in society.
“But you must respect your mother” – you have probably heard this sentence many times. This is due to the fact that in our society, a mother is identified mainly as the source of good and a person who wants the best for her child.
Especially in Polish society, the mother model functions strongly in the collective consciousness. The Polish Mother is a figure perceived as a model of femininity, heroism and sacrifice for others, especially for her own family. This perception increases the pressure to meet certain expectations towards women, not only from those closest to them, but also from society in general, including the media. However, it is worth remembering that modern women cannot always find themselves in these traditional images.
However, returning to the point, on the one hand, a mother's love for her child is presented in culture as a form of the most perfect love, and on the other hand, mothers are presented as a source of harm .
When you see a nice and smiling woman with a stroller somewhere in a park, it probably doesn't occur to you that the child is in danger. But we really have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. It was the same with Ruby Franke. Her activity on the Internet could be described as a facade - on the outside, a good mother with six children, who turned out to be a ruthless tyrant in her own home. So we can never be sure whether the facade presented to the world has anything to do with reality.
Okay, but why did I say about the mother and the source of harm in one sentence? This is an unusual thesis. But remember how sometimes in conversations you heard something like - "if I did something like that, my mother wouldn't give it to me." Therefore, he is a figure who simply arouses... respect in many homes. And the mentioned respect could be built, for example, through corporal punishment to make you clean the room or to stop you from talking.
Fortunately, the belief that corporal punishment is an educational tool used for the good of the child is becoming less common. However, this does not mean that it no longer occurs. Nowadays it's just something of a taboo. Something that could potentially be socially condemned.
At this point, we should ask ourselves whether such penalties are so-called an educational method, or just a way to deal with your own emotions, relieve tension and take it out on someone weaker?
In Poland, since 2010, the use of corporal punishment against children has been prohibited by law. The scientific community argues that such penalties have a number of negative consequences. First of all, we teach children that violence is acceptable in relationships with others and that conflicts can be resolved by force. Moreover, violence experienced by a loved one causes the child to feel betrayed, lonely and afraid of trust.
A child's relationship with its mother is the first and most influential relationship in a child's life, and its impact reaches far into the future. Attachment styles illustrate this well. They indicate not only the impact of this relationship on the child, but also what problems the child will face in the future in relationships with other people. We have already talked about attachment styles in this material .
One of the forms of attachment disorders is the famous "mommy issues", which refers to emotional problems that may occur in people who have a difficult relationship with their mother. “Mommy issues” may therefore be associated with rejection of closeness, the desire to control, and even a tendency to violence.
Ruby Franke gave the children a difficult fate. It wasn't just about the injuries and physical punishment she inflicted on them. Ruby Franke's children will emotionally struggle with what she did to them for the rest of their lives. As we said earlier, the violence they experienced from their mother will cause an avalanche of consequences - a sense of loneliness, difficulties in dealing with emotions and relationships with other people, difficulties in trust and many others.
It may sound like a truism, but what you see on the Internet has nothing to do with reality. People create themselves on social media (and beyond) for various benefits. These may be financial issues, the desire to be seen as an authority, or in the case of Ruby Franke - both. The purpose of this material was to make you aware of how important it is to be aware and open to helping children who may potentially be harmed. So let's not underestimate such problems and let's protect those who cannot yet defend themselves.
Sources:
1. From screaming and slapping to death. The number of cases of child abuse is increasing (online), access: https://www.rp.pl/spoleczenstwo/art38472531-od-krzyczu-i-klapsa-do-smierci-rosnie-liczba-przypadkow-znecania-sie-nad -children , [access date: April 26, 2024].
2. Report Attitudes towards corporal punishment and their use 2022 (online), available: https://fdds.pl/co-robimy/raporty-z-badan/2022/postawy-wobec-kar-fizyczne-i-ich-stosowanie .html , [access date: 26/04/2024].
3. Ruby Franke's Husband Kevin Reveals Alleged Rules He Had to Follow at Home (online), available: https://www.eonline.com/news/1398362/ruby-frankes-husband-kevin-reveals-alleged-rules-he -had-to-follow-at-home , [access date: 26/04/2024].
4. The tortured Kamil waited for help for five days and died in the hospital. The stepfather and mother will remain in custody until the end of the year (online), access: https://tvn24.pl/katowice/kamil-z-czestochowy-sad-przedluzyl-areszt-dla-ojczema-podejrzanego-o-zabojstwo-chlopca-i -mother-suspected-of-aiding-st7364218 , [access date: April 26, 2024].
5. YouTuber convicted of violence against her own children. “They lived in an environment resembling a concentration camp” (online), access: https://tvn24.pl/swiat/usa-youtuberka-ruby-franke-skazana-za-przemoc-wobec-wlasnych-dzieci-st7784950, [access date: April 26, 2024].
6. They abused the child. Prosecutor's office: mother tried to take her son's life (online), access: https://www.pap.pl/aktualnosci/znecali-sie-nad-dzieckem-prokuratura-matka-usilowala-pozbawic-syna-zycia , [access date: April 26 .2024].
7. The murder of Magdalena Waśniewska (online), access: https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zab%C3%B3jstwo_Magdaleny_Wa%C5%9Bniewska , [access date: April 26, 2024].
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