Tuesday, January 24, 2023

Slipped out of the house at dawn and disappeared

 Tomasz Desecki - slipped out of the house at dawn and disappeared

The Desecki family spent the winter evening of January 14, 2002, playing cards together. The parents and their five sons gathered around the table: Przemek, Patryk, Tomek, Adam and Jarek. The youngest was four at the time and the oldest was twenty. Most of the family finished the game around 10pm. The younger boys, however, went to bed earlier.

The mother woke up in the night and decided to look into her son's room. At first, she thought they were all asleep. But then she noticed that Tom was lying on the bed with his eyes open. He then looked at his mother strangely. The woman soon left the room and went back to sleep. She did not ask her son why he was awake. She would probably behave differently today because it was the last time she saw Tomek.

The next day, around 6:00 in the morning, the family members woke up to a terrible cold. It turned out that the cause was the open front door. The parents thought it was a strange sign, but they hastily closed the door and went about their morning chores. The house was a little chaotic as usual because everyone in the household wanted to get ready for work or school as soon as possible. Only after some time did family members notice that Tom was missing.

The teenager attended a private school in Włocławek, where he studied painting. Covering expenses for education was possible thanks to a scholarship from the Minister of Culture and National Heritage. The boy covered a distance of about 30 kilometers by bus every day. He left the house around 7:00.

Initially, the closest people thought that Tomek had just left earlier that day. The open door could be explained, for example, by the fact that the boy did not close it properly. Strong gusts of wind may have caused it to open to its full width.

However, family members began to worry when they discovered that Tomek had not brought his backpack with him. What was even weirder was that the teenager's warm clothes were also left in the house, in particular the jacket he wore at the time. After checking the contents of the wardrobe, it turned out that the 18-year-old had probably taken thin, summer trousers belonging to his father. There was also a lack of old sneakers, which were certainly not the best footwear for January weather.

Another curious discovery was made in Thomas's room. Salt had been spilled in the corners, and a white candle was still burning on the table. It looked like the remnants of some strange ritual. Remnants of hair dye were found in the bathroom. Everything indicated that the teenager had dyed his hair blonde.

Close to the house, relatives discovered a paint-stained plate, a cloth, a comb, and the teenager's clothes he had been wearing the previous day. The concerned family reported Tomek missing to the police.

After the disappearance of the high school student, relatives remembered several situations that they now saw in a new light. A few days before his disappearance, Tomek talked to his mother about his future. He confessed that he would like to become a monk or a missionary. The surprised woman asked if he would like to be a priest. The teenager denied it, saying he would rather live in poverty and help those in need.

In the months leading up to his disappearance, Tomek also began to behave differently. Although he has always been quite introverted and taciturn, he began to avoid people even more, even those close to him.

He unexpectedly broke up with the girl, without giving a specific reason for the breakup. He also did not respond to attempts to contact his cousin, with whom he had been friends from an early age. He spent much of his time in prayer and meditation. Tomek was often described as a very spiritual person.

Another interesting thread was Tomek's unexpected trip to Unieście. This seaside town (now part of Mielno) was about 300 km away from the home town of Rabinów. The teenager went there one September day instead of going to school. Then he visited his uncle, who lived in nearby Koszalin.

The parents became concerned when their son did not come home from school that afternoon. In the evening, the long-awaited telephone rang at the Deseckis' house. The aforementioned relative from Koszalin then informed his family about Tomek's visit. Surprised parents decided to go for their son. They wanted to make sure that the teenager would return home without any adventures. They also wanted to know why the boy decided to go on this spontaneous trip.

However, Tomek did not want to reveal his secret. The parents pushed harder. So the teenager told a story about a kidnapping. He was allegedly forced into a car near the Włocławek railway station. He then lost consciousness and then woke up by the sea. However, the parents did not believe this story.

According to another scenario, the boy went on a journey to meet a person he might have met during a school trip to Unieście, which took place a few months earlier. It is also worth adding that there was a Franciscan monastery in nearby Koszalin. Maybe that's where Tom went? After all, from a conversation with his mother, it appeared that he planned to become a monk.

The 18-year-old was seen on the day of his disappearance by a neighbor after 5:00 in the morning at the bus station in nearby Żydów. The alleged witness initially did not realize that Tomek was waiting with him for the bus. However, the neighbor recognized the teenager when he got into the vehicle and bought a ticket to Włocławek. However, it is not known whether Desecki reached there, because the man took a nap on the bus. When he woke up, the teenager was gone.

Someone similar to Tomek was also seen by his school friend. It took place on January 15, around 7:00 am at the railway station in Włocławek. However, the teenager wasn't sure if she had noticed Desecki. Apart from these two leads, there was no information on the case.

So the family got involved in the search, but unfortunately, their efforts did not bring any results. Relatives tried to contact many religious orders, but most refused to give them any information. Years later, however, it turned out that the parents' hunches could be right.

In March 2020, the missing man's family was cleaning up. Tomek's father accidentally came across a copy of the baptismal certificate while looking through the documents. It turned out that the church document was issued at the request of the missing person. The baptismal certificate was dated September 15, 2001.

The relatives connected the facts and realized that Tomek had to ask for a birth certificate right after the trip to Unieście. It's unlikely to be a coincidence. The Desecki family turned again to virtually all religious orders in Poland. And this time their efforts were fruitless. The monks were hiding behind the protection of personal data. Others did not answer the phone at all and did not reply to the e-mails of desperate loved ones.

The police prepared a probable image of Tomek years later. Unfortunately, all these efforts failed to find the missing person. Despite more than 20 years since that memorable January morning, the family does not lose hope that one day they will be able to learn the fate of their beloved son and brother.

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