Research by psychologists shows that there are many ways to get people to do what you want them to do. Without even guessing that you had any influence on them. We have reviewed 14 manipulation techniques that can make other people like someone and comply with their request. It is worth knowing them to be able to defend against them.
1. Use the "decoy effect"
This is a technique used by salespeople. During his TED speech, economist Dan Ariely explained the "decoy effect" using the example of an old Economist ad.
The ad featured three subscription levels for the title: $59 for online-only access, $159 for paper-only access, and $159 for both readings of the magazine.
Ariely realized that the $159 option to buy the print edition was for one reason. It makes the ability to pay $159 for printing and online then seem more attractive than if it only existed alongside the $59 online version.
In other words, if you're having trouble selling the more expensive of the two products, consider adding a third to your offer. Its task will only be to make a more expensive product seem more tempting against it.
One of the studies cited in the book "You Are Not So Intelligent" showed that participants in the so-called Ultimatum games were more likely to keep more money to themselves by being in a room with a briefcase, leather wallet, and a fountain pen than when they were in the room without these items. Even though none of the participants was aware of it, the objects surrounding them might have made them more inclined to play riskier.
This tactic can potentially be used when you negotiate with someone. Instead of meeting in a conference room, consider making an appointment at a coffee shop. There your interlocutor should be less prone to, for example, aggressive behavior.
2. Mimic other people's body language
The next time you try to impress a manager or someone you feel something for, try to gently mimic the way she sits and talks. This will make her like you more.
Scientists call this the "chameleon effect". It makes us tend to like interlocutors who imitate our posture, manner and facial expressions.
This phenomenon is happening completely unconsciously. Most of the participants in the experiment in which he was tested were unaware that their body language was being mimicked by someone.
3. Speak fast
How you communicate your ideas may be just as important as the essence of your argument. Research suggests that when someone disagrees with you, you should speak faster. This will give your opponent less time to analyze your words.
On the other hand, if the audience agrees with your argument, it is worth speaking more slowly to see how accurately they judge your words.
4. Apply the DTR technique
A technique called DTR is a smart way to get people to collaborate.
One study found that when experiment participants went door-to-door selling cards to charity, the technique helped them get twice as much money. Instead of saying they were selling 8 cards for $ 3, they said they cost 300 cents, which is a bargain.
Scientists say that DTR works because it disrupts routine thought processes. When trying to count how many dollars makeup 300 cents, people's thoughts get distracted. Therefore, they tend to agree with your view that the price is a bargain.
5. Ask for a favor when people are tired
When a person hears a request for help, doubts automatically arise. However, when he is tired and distracted, he will likely be less critical and just agree to what you say.
So if you're going to ask a coworker to help you on a project, it's best to do so at the end of the workday. He may not already realize that he should do something else.
However, make sure to pay back by helping him with his project next time. This way, it won't look like you're trying to take advantage of your hard-working colleagues.
6. Show people a picture of the eyes
One study found that people were more likely to clean up after themselves in the cafeteria when they saw a picture of eyes than when they saw a picture of flowers. The study authors found that eyes are associated with social control.
Whether you're trying to prevent littering or encouraging people to refer back to a book they borrowed from the office library, it's always worth making the impression that they are being watched.
7. Use nouns, not verbs
One study was asked two versions of the same question. The first was "How important is it for you to vote in tomorrow's elections?" And the second was "How important is it for you to become the voter tomorrow?". The results showed that more "yes" answers were obtained for the question that used the noun "voter".
This is probably because people have a need to belong and the use of a noun strengthens their identity as members of a specific group.
8. A slight fear in the form of a joke won't hurt
Research suggests that people who experience anxiety and then relief tend to respond positively to subsequent requests. For example, people who heard an invisible policeman whistle while crossing the street were soon more likely to agree to fill out a questionnaire than people who heard nothing.
This is probably because their brain resources were busy with thoughts of a potential threat and no longer focused on analyzing a simple survey request.
You can try to joke with your colleague a little by reminding him of the project that you want to be ready for today and then adding "Just kidding. It's for tomorrow." And then you can ask him to help you with your work.
9. Focus on what your opponent wants to gain
Research shows that during negotiations it is important to emphasize what the other side gains, not what it loses. For example, if you are trying to sell a car, you'd better say, "I'll give you my car for $ 1000" instead of "I want $ 1000 for my car."
This way, you can persuade your partner to see things from a different perspective. Probably then he will be more willing to make concessions.
10. Make people aware of extreme versions of their views
It seems obvious that if you want to change someone else's point of view, you have to make them say they are wrong. However, when it comes to political issues, the researchers suggest that a less intuitive strategy might work better.
In a 2014 study, Israelis of different political beliefs watched a series of videos depicting the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as a positive experience underlying Jewish identity.
After a few months, it turned out that right-wing Israelis (who generally fear Palestinians more than left-minded Israelis) were more likely to change their political views than right-wingers who watched apolitical videos. It was likely that they would be more likely to vote for more "pro-peace" political parties.
Scientists suspect that this strategy works because it reduces the activation of their human defense mechanisms.
11. Don't be too confident
An interesting 2016 study looked at activity on ChangeMyView, a Reddit-owned forum where people post their opinions and discuss them with others.
The study found that users who added the phrase "It could be a coincidence" when giving their arguments were more effective at persuading others to change their original opinion. The researchers say this was probably because the tone of their statements was softened then.
12. Touching someone on the shoulder influences their decisions
This is a controversial but effective method. A 1991 study found that customers of a bookstore who were greeted with a light touch on the arm of the salesman spent more time in the store and bought more books than those who were greeted without physical contact.
Interestingly, other studies suggest that men who touch a woman lightly on the shoulder are more likely to get her phone number.
13. It's good to tell someone that they don't have to agree with you
It may seem counterintuitive, but reminding people that they don't have to do what you want can, contrary to what you think, can often motivate them to grant your request.
Various studies show that by affirming someone's freedom of choice and action, you can double the chances that that person will do what you expect.
Manipulation is nothing more than behavior that takes advantage of circumstances to gain some benefit. How not to give in to manipulators and recognize their tricks?
The word manipulation comes from the Latin "manipulation", meaning trick. Underneath it is bending reality and using it to achieve goals. It is deliberately influencing the other person and at the same time deprives them of making conscious decisions. Then the manipulator fulfills its purpose.
Each of us is to some extent a manipulator and this does not always mean that he is unethical and toxic - for example, an innocent form of manipulation will be a situation in which a woman arrested for speeding starts to smile beautifully at a policeman. However, today we will deal with the dark side of manipulation and tell you how you can avoid it.
We encounter manipulation in virtually every sphere of life, it is not lacking in relationships, at work and in families. To protect against its toxic effects, it must be recognized and discontinued in time. What signals are worth paying attention to?
How do recognize manipulation?
1. Changing the facts
Manipulators often change their minds, distort the facts, make excuses and at the same time blame others for their failures. Additionally, they show themselves in the light of the victim. When they tell stories, they exaggerate some things and ignore others altogether. Such a procedure is designed to evoke sympathy and force you to do a favor.
2. Self-exaltation
The manipulator starts from the position of the better, which allows him to gain an advantage and take advantage of someone's ignorance, which is why he can use various data, procedures, or rules. You probably won't know much about them and that's what the manipulator is all about. He can use sarcasm and criticism to destroy your confidence. Plus, add judgment, marginalization, and humiliation. If, after talking to him, you feel that you are not good enough, know that he has fulfilled his mission.
3. Lack of time to decide
Even if the manipulator asks you or asks you to make a decision, it will not give you time for it, and that's what it is all about. Builds tension and hopes you will surrender quickly. On the other hand, if you ask him a question, he can ignore it completely and he will do it on purpose to plant doubts and uncertainties in your head that will give him an edge.
4. Double standards
Manipulation is very much like hypocrisy. The manipulator changes his views depending on the situation, so once you can see him eating a cutlet, and the other one how he publicly declares his vegetarianism.
5. Knows how to take advantage of your weaknesses and strengths
Manipulators are often people who conduct conversations in such a way as to get as much information as possible from the interlocutor. Later they use them for their own purposes. At the beginning of a relationship, a manipulator can learn about your dreams of a perfect relationship and assure you that it is their fulfillment, thus gaining an emotional advantage. On the other hand, at work, there may be a situation in which someone knows that, for example, you are not afraid to stand up to your boss and deliberately incites you to bring him up on a topic that is really useful to the manipulator. Then he does not lose anything in the eyes of the superior, and you do the dirty work for him.
Of course, we have not exhausted the signs of manipulation, but you have certainly met a seasoned manipulator on your way, so write us in the comment how you recognized him!
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